College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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