So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish you could order shots online.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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