I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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