It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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