Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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