One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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