She announced her abortion via fbk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
