hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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