i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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