you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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