South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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