I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
