We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
