bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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