I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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