i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
they're like a gay fantastic four
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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