Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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