whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he was CRYING into my vagina
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
