ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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