I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
