nut hugger
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
