i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
