Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
