You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
