Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Everything about him screamed your future.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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