Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
