no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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