They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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