I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
