The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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