nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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