I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
