Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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