last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
