and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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