how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
