He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
