When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
