margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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