I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
