no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
