I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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