I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
