Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love having hate sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
