We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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