oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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