I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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