Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm having to shit out rocks
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
