Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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