she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
