Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
4 words: hood of his car
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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