Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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