What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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