you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize