I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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