I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
