yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
